--- Wake Up Call. ---

All the memories I have as a little kid are of San Antonio. I moved there when I was five.
I went to Longs Creek for Elementary, except for 3rd grade when I went to Northern Hills.
After Longs Creek, I went to Harris.
As everyone else, I was uber excited.
I should've been more excited.
I went through the year like it was nothing, as if I was coming back the next year.
I never did.
I'm not here to talk about the phsyco chick I have for a stepmother, no.
I'm here to talk about how lucky a lot of you people are, and you don't even know it.
I don't blame you, because you haven't had the wake up call that I have...
If you're reading this and you currently go to Harris, count your blessings.
If you're reading this and you currently go to Miller, I don't know.
This post is mainly for Hawks, not Falcons.
I got on that bus on June 4th, 2009 thinking that this would be a good thing, a chance for new beginnings, new first impressions and a chance to re-invent myself.
I was wrong.
Here, I'm not allowed to wear what I want. I am just a nobody, I wear the same clothes as everyone else. I am just another mindless robot.
The main thing is the dress code here.
Your clothes express who you are. The only thing that can express us is our shoes, hair, and accessories.
The other thing is, well... That's it.
The people here are different... They only care about their friends and no one else.
If you didn't grow up here, you aren't welcome.
In San Antonio, and maybe even everywhere else, people don't care who you are, they just welcome you in, or at least, give you a chance.
Here, I am a nobody, and not just because I'm quiet.

I hope that everyone at Harris and is reading this will thank everyone you know for allowing you to have the freedom that you do. You have no idea what a living hell this is for me.

I am not, and never will be, a Falcon, or a Trojian, or whatever else.
I am, and forever will be, a Harris Hawk. No one will ever change that.

--- Low Self Esteem. ---

I don't want sympathy. 'Nuff said. The reason I have such a low self esteem is not only because of me, but because of the people around me.
They don't know it, but they're slowing eating away at my self esteem.
First, everyone should know that I'm a quiet and reserved person, if you don't already. I keep my thoughts to myself and bottle everything up. I am a listener and don't talk much at all outside of my circle of friends. It's sad, and I want to change that. I know it's not healthy and I'm not happy with this or the rest of my quiet-ness.
Everyone around me has their little circle of friends in each and every place they go to.
I don't have that.
Everyone has so many friends, they're always texting because everyone is always wanting to know what's up.
I don't get that.... As much.
Everyone always throws in their comments in class and laugh and joke.
I don't. It's depressing.
This is all because I am a listener, not a talker, and I want to change this, and the rest of my personality.
My New Year's Resolution this year, (yes, lame, I know, but that's just what I want to call it that because it's a new year, yada yada yada.) is to be more talkitive and to make more friends.
In one of my classes, the class is small and close. We sit wherever we want and, as always, we sit next to our friends. It takes time for me to think of where to sit, because I'm not extreamely close to anyone in that class.
For the majority of this class, while people sit and talk about whatever, I sit there and think, 'say something.' But I just don't have the guts to even try.
I guess I can't gather the courage because I've tried SO MANY TIMES to say something, but my voice is just drowned out by the other, more popular people's. So, I've just learned to say nothing.
People ask me why I'm always so quiet, this is why.
I know it's a sad and depressing story, but it's the truth.
No sympathy, just take me for who I am.

--- Christmas Break. ---

Christmas break was goood. (:
Went to Gimmie's for the first weekend, saw my AWESOME Aunt Krissy. (:
Came back for Christmas. Got awesome presents:
-Acoustic Guitar and book
-Oberto Beef Jerkey
-Two tablets of graph paper
-Watch
-Jacket
-Junk food. YUM.
-Earring and Necklace set
-Booklight with two lights. (:
-More jewlery
-Happy Feet
-Brain Teasers (Two box fulls)
-Juicy Couture binder
-$30 to Target
-Total money: $150, including gift card.
Went back to Gimmie's for New Years.
Had fun.
Did Anne Frank timeline on the way back home.
Went back to school. And such. (:
Hope everybody had an awesome holiday break like I did. (: