--- Low Self Esteem. ---

I don't want sympathy. 'Nuff said. The reason I have such a low self esteem is not only because of me, but because of the people around me.
They don't know it, but they're slowing eating away at my self esteem.
First, everyone should know that I'm a quiet and reserved person, if you don't already. I keep my thoughts to myself and bottle everything up. I am a listener and don't talk much at all outside of my circle of friends. It's sad, and I want to change that. I know it's not healthy and I'm not happy with this or the rest of my quiet-ness.
Everyone around me has their little circle of friends in each and every place they go to.
I don't have that.
Everyone has so many friends, they're always texting because everyone is always wanting to know what's up.
I don't get that.... As much.
Everyone always throws in their comments in class and laugh and joke.
I don't. It's depressing.
This is all because I am a listener, not a talker, and I want to change this, and the rest of my personality.
My New Year's Resolution this year, (yes, lame, I know, but that's just what I want to call it that because it's a new year, yada yada yada.) is to be more talkitive and to make more friends.
In one of my classes, the class is small and close. We sit wherever we want and, as always, we sit next to our friends. It takes time for me to think of where to sit, because I'm not extreamely close to anyone in that class.
For the majority of this class, while people sit and talk about whatever, I sit there and think, 'say something.' But I just don't have the guts to even try.
I guess I can't gather the courage because I've tried SO MANY TIMES to say something, but my voice is just drowned out by the other, more popular people's. So, I've just learned to say nothing.
People ask me why I'm always so quiet, this is why.
I know it's a sad and depressing story, but it's the truth.
No sympathy, just take me for who I am.